Friday, September 4, 2015

whats the right way?

Let me tell you a little about my mothering style. Its not right, its not wrong, its too little and its too much. Its not what you or her would do. But its what I do and I have a happy healthy kid.

You see my kid running around without shoes in the backyard. I see a kid who ran out before I could put on his shoes. But also a kid who is enjoying the feeling of grass and earth under him. (Not on cold or wet days obviously)

You see my husband cursing in front of my kid. I see a  time my kid will shout SHIT in front of others and it will be embarrassing, but we will laugh at it years later. It happens. He will know those words are adult words.

You see my kid eating at the table without a high chair and thats dangerous. I see a little human who wants to do everything that everyone else does, he cheers with his glass, he eats in regular bowls (corelle life saver) and he sneaks food to the dog. And eats and tries everything.

You see my kid with a dirty shirt. I see he has been playing eating enjoying whatever it was. A little dirt never hurt anyone. At the end of the day he gets a bath, gets clean clothes and goes to bed.

You see an almost 2yr old who isnt talking much. I see a kid who hears two languages constantly.  Who understands when I ask him to get a diaper in the other room but cant tell me what ye wants to eat, but will grab it from the fridge. Hes independent and likes to do things for himself.

You see my kid awake at 9pm. I see a kid who stays awake to see his dad come home. Whose naps are set to a t, but sometimes is tired by 7 sometimes not until 10.

You see my kid watching tv. I see the inevitable. Their future will be filled with electronics and internet. All I can do is make sure he does more than just that, watch tv, play games he will know harry potter, lotr, star wars. He will know family time and the outdoors and board games.

You see my kid fall and freak out as I congratulate him. I know  the difference between a stumble and fall and a dangerous fall. In doing that he gets up wipes his hands off and keeps going. He also knows the difference between pain and reaction.
(I was at the store the other day and this 10yr old tripped on his shoes and fell, he dell to the ground and stayed there waiting for his mom to come back and help him, he even scooted closer to his shoes. This was a very uncomfortable 3 minutes trying to go around him to get my groceries).

You see my kid playing with a doll. I see him imitating me. Thats what children do. I wont take a toy away from him because of "gender roles". If he wants to play with his cousins old cabbage patch kid I wont stop him. There are no "boy version" of dolls for toddlers. Also something pink wont turn him gay.

You see my kid getting sick. I see a growing immune system. My kid doesnt go to daycare or is around a lot of kids, so he isnt exposed to a lot of the germs they grow immune to. Hes not the boy in the bubble but hes only been around less than two years so there will surely be a lot of sickness.

You see my kid being a wildman, wrestling, running, jumping, hitting, climbing. I see a kid. A toddler. An active little boy.

You see my kid throwing a tantrum. I see nothing. I will not acknowledge these.

I see a social, loving, funny, sweet, intelligent, wild, carefree little human.

We all see things different, we all have different parenting styles. What you may see as bad that someone does, may not be bad in their eyes.
Im always learning and taking advice, and sharing advice.
I know the way I raise my son wont necessarily be the way he raises his children, but I know hes happy for now.