I am 297 months old.

I never understood why after 1 year parents still counted how many months their child was, and when do they decide when to stop? You dont see adults saying "Yes Lisa is 48 months old."

The other day at the mall playground I had to chase Charlie who was trying to steal some guy's drink away from him. (We've already had to pay for someones Panda Express because he decided he was going to run up to their table and grab it and try to run away.)
We got to talking, and apologizing. And the usual questions come up, "Oh shes so cute how old is she?"
"This is my 23 month old, and thats my 4 year old."
* Oh you're one of those people.....*

Why can't you just say shes turning 2 next month?!!! I find myself telling months because someone else is telling months. Then I wonder, what if someone else is doing that just because Im doing it too!!?!!
The insanity has to stop.
Charlie turned 1 in November. No more 14 months.

Is it so the other person knows what size clothes they wear? Let me tell you My disproportionate son wears 24 on top, and 12 on bottom. He's got that top heavy from his dad. Maybe my short little legs?
Is it because the doctor says it so now we feel like were more sophisticated and must use the same lingo as them?
Pregnancy ended many many months ago, a part Im all too happy to forget, but now instead of counting weeks, Im counting months.

I think its cute and perfectly okay to use months for the first year, I mean that year is when so much happens. They go from being little helpless babies to crawling and walking and talking! Thats a lot to learn in just a year.

So unless we stop the nonsense of telling months after a year I will refer to my age to months as well. 297.8 months. (Yes I used a calculator, For math is another language to me)

The book>The movie

I read this joke the other day and it went.
How do you tell if someone's read the book before they've watched the movie?
They'll tell you, oh they'll tell you.
I couldn't stop laughing because well, that's me. And I apologize to my friends whom Ive ruined shows or movies for but I can't help it. The book is often times so much better.

Think of it as this way; I'll use food because well I like to eat, a lot.
The book is a Royal Red Robin burger, its got all these layers. The cheese, the meat,the egg, the lettuce, ketchup and bottomless fries.
The movie....its like a school cafeteria hamburger with 5 soggy fries.

For example. Characters in books are complex, the writing makes you create this version of a character that at times when brought to live is less than acceptable. And god forbid the actor is replaced in later movies.
One instance is Harry Potter (I'm also mildly obsessed with harry potter).
I typically read a book then watch the movie, however being 10 and really not into fantasy I need up watching the movie first. And I was hooked,so I read the books. I got sucked into a land of magic, and to this day with all our moving I guess my letter to Hogwarts was lost in the mail.
Richard Harris played the perfect Albus Dumbledore, he had the twinkle in his eye and reminded me that while he was old he was still fierce and caring at the same time. Unfortunately Richard Harris a passed away ad was replaced with Michael Gambon. Bad casting, were all too aware of the notorious almost strangling in the 4th movie. I just....no.





Movies tend to leave out important information while keeping seemingless unimportant things in it.
For this I'll use the Hunger Games, great books, not translated into movies very well...
I took my husband to see the first one when it first came out, I was super excited to watch it and show him this awesome movie where kids fight to the death because society's so messed up.
I don't know who left the movie theater more confused. Why wasn't Madge in the movie? Avoxes hello?
You have all this money to make this movie ad you're gonna get so much more back and this is what you give us?... A jungle with kids running from each other?..This is one of the rare moments he was actually happy that I read the book and didnt stop talking about it.

And then there are the movies that start out so good and you think OK they're staying close to the book,and in the end they're running out of time and just throw random things in?
Divergent.
I started out really into the movie and enjoying it, they could have gone more in depth about the aptitude test I'll let it go. But they completely forgot to film Edwards scenes!!! And there was a lot more chemistry between four and Tris that's all....I wasn't disappointed with the movie, But I did find Eric more attractive than Four.


However not always are movies a bad interpretation of the book.
Jurassic park was very loyal to the book. Also another time I watched the movie before the book, I was actually unaware there was a book until in middle school. One minor difference was that Hammond actually dies in the first book.
The shining was also a great adaptation, I prefer the second BBC version which is also like 4 or 5 hours and didn't have Shelley Duvall (who I find very irritating) but they put in everything the book had.

I know I'm picky. And I have ridiculous expectations out of my movies, after all I bet invested into my books. And every person focuses on different parts of books. I know there's no way tp perfectly translate word for word into a movie...
But someone tell me... How the hell is 50 shades of gray turning into a movie and its not.... porn??

What would you do with a whole day to yourself?

Today Charlie got to go spend the day at his boppys and Mimi's.
That means I had a free day as my husband calls it, good because I think I was catching Charlies cold.
In the morning I packed his bag lots of clothes, boogey wipes(just a fancy name for saline wipes), his sheep,  and off he went to a day adventure.

What was I to do with a whole 9 hours to myself?!?  About once a month Charlie goes over to his yayas house and spends the night,  usually its someone's birthday or something were doing that night so while its great to get to do something were usually trying to pack so much in that day that its more exhausting than having him. Seriously one day we dropped him off, had to rush to lunch at the space needle(courtesy of Doms work) and make it to everett for a hockey game, all in about a 5 hour span.

So today was nice that I had no plans, and had no plans on folding the laundry that has piled on the night stand, and wherever else charlie drags things to. The house is clean otherwise. Big thank to my mom who's been cleaning the kitchen. Did I mention my parents are living with me?? Some may think its inconvenient, I think its yummy. I'll take my moms delicious food any day!!!!!

So I started my day with reading my book, I'm currently reading the Divergent trilogy. Its taken me way too long to read a book that's less than 500 pages. I'm a huge bookworm so I get really invested into my books, but I'm happy to say I finished the first book and on to the second.
I did my nails, my toes and my hands. Well whatever little tiny hand nails I have now that I don't constantly do them anymore. It was a 2x a week thing.

I was able to go to the bathroom and shower and not have little hands slapping the door or trying to get under.
I actually left the bathroom door open all day without having to run in and drag little hands out of trying to get into the toilet.

In spent time with my cats, all day fat jack and Kobe laid in bed with me while I read or watched TV.
I caught up on TV shows, and watched more Friends.

The greatest of all I got BORED! I haven't gotten bored in a very long time. It was a reminder that I enjoy being on my toes all day being a mom. I'm fortunate to have all day to play and hang out with my little man. But I'm also grateful for family to get a breather day here and there. Thank you guys.

Being a parent is hard, it can put strain on your marriage or relationship. So once a month, take time out from being parents and indulge in being significant others. Go to a movie, to the beach, have a picnic in the living room and watch movies.
You'd be surprised at how much that can lift your spirits.

Extra junk in the trunk

Celebrities give us a false idea of what were supposed to look like. Its hard enough trying to learn all that stupid kim kardashian contouring and looking red carpet skinny.
Then they get pregnant and you secretly hope they gain 80 pounds and look terrible...and they don't. Seriously who wears 5inch heels weeks before they're due??!!
And just when you think it couldn't get worse, articles of them 2 weeks post baby bod come out.
Come on! Are you even human???!!!!

Two weeks after having Charlie my hair was a mess, my stomach was all sorts of deflated and jello and I did not leave the house. And I didn't even have a c section!
The whole idea that women need to get back to their post baby body as soon as possible is incredibly unrealistic. It took 9 months to get like this and it sure isn't going to go back in weeks, not even a couple of months.
Not only are you extremely exhausted from lack of sleep, healing, emotional, but now I gotta worry about how skinny and how not in shape I am?


There is nothing wrong with taking your time to lose the weight. There's nothing wrong with having a little saggier boobs, there's nothing wrong with having new stretch marks. Theres nothing wrong eating carbs!
The world needs to stop rushing women into getting back to shape or they're not considered attractive anymore.
It takes 6 weeks for your body to get over the trauma of childbirth and I've heard something like 2 years to really get back to normal.
Your whole life has changed, you cant expect your body not to.
Give me a break. Even now a year later my weight isn't my priority. I have an elliptical in the garage I use, not as often as I'd like, but its something.

Just give a girl time, shell lose the weight when she's ready. I don't need to feel obligated to get back in shape before my kid can even hold its head up.
I'm only human.

JUST a stay at home mom

Today I read a blog post from a husbands point of view about his wife being a stay at home mom.
I decided I'd write one from the perspective of a "stay at home mom/wife"

I am guilty of having thought that being a stay at home mom was an easy job. Like most people I thought "Why is she complaining? She doesn't have to go out and actually work." or "Shes just lazy." While I woke up at all different hours of the night to feed or change a baby the mom in me told my old self "Told you."

Do we not value stay at home moms because they're not actually getting paid? Or because she doesn't get up put on a suit and go out into the world? In many cases having a job outside of the home you are still taking care of someone. Having worked retail and hospitality you are always at someones hand and foot.  The only difference is at the end of the day you hate your job because you're tired and nobody really appreciates what you have done for them. While at home you may be tired but you know those little eyes appreciate everything that you have done for them.

I used to think that going to work for 9 hours was hard, to only have a 30 minute lunch, and get off work so late that you had missed going out with everyone, or getting off work and being so tired all you want is to sleep.
A stay at home mom doesn't have a 30 minute lunch. I swear everytime I try to go eat he wants to eat too. So that nice hot dinner gets put aside while he gets his food.
I once loved showers, long hot showers and I'd just stand under the shower head without a care about how long it was. Now I'm lucky if my showers last 10 minutes.
A Friday night used to be putting on make up, that nice black dress, heels and going out and drinking and having fun.
Friday night now is no different from any other day, bathe baby, feed baby, hope he falls asleep. Clean up some more, and maybe catch up on some tv if you're not passing out already.
The nice thing about a "real" job is that you clock in and clock out. Once you clock out and leave you dont have to do that job until your next shift.
I don't have a clock in clock out button. 

JUST because she's a stay at home mom doesn't mean she's JUST taking care of the baby. She's a cook, a maid, your wife, a nurse, a ninja.
While the baby sleeps she's making dinner, cleaning the house, organizing paperwork, doing some sort of project, and trying to sneak in a little Netflix.

I have a "real" job on the weekends. And I will say, while it's hard to wake up and go to work, the job is a lot easier than being full time mommy.
Am I upset that I'm a stay at home mom? At times I catch myself thinking I need a job I need to make my own money. I've always been a hard worker. But I look at a giggling Charlie and think there is no way that "making my own money" compares to this.
I used to not want to have kids, I was independent, made my own money, could spend my money on anything I wanted.
Now all the money I make or get goes to Charlie. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

While I'm sitting here I have a basket of laundry waiting to be folded. But theres a baby in front of me in his jungle pad giggling looking at himself in the mirror and talking. He also has the hiccups which dont seem to affect him much but I should get those taken care of. (By the way old family trick, lick a piece of paper and put it on their forehead. works. every. time.)

So before you go judging and saying she's JUST a stay at home mom. Think to yourself, your job is 8 hours, hers is 24 hours.














Note: Charlie is very fortunate to have so many people that take care of him. He has a daddy who not only works a "real" job but is always helping out when he can. His grandma who is always willing to watch him if we need to run out and do errands. And great grandparents who love to tell him stories and sing to him and watch him while mommy showers.

When facebook goes wrong.

I woke up this morning and did the first thing anybody does these days, check Facebook.
In the midst of many ecards and TGIFs there was a post with some animal abuse. Thank you jerk for completely taking away any joy I had.
While its your page and you can post whatever you want, I think people are taking things to a new level now days.

Please take my guide of things to post and not to post, lets elaborate:

Cute cats- Thats easy, cats own the internet, there can never be too many cute cats.
Pets- all other form of pets are also acceptable, unless they have no legs or too many legs. (My rule for being okay with animals, 2 legs 4 legs ok, no legs and too many legs no)
Kids- It be babies, toddlers, your kids graduation. It is ok. Unless you're posting birthing videos and pictures then no, please keep those to yourself, locked up, your kid will never want to see that. In fact I dont really know why people take videos of their birth.....not doing it.
E-cards- They're hilarious. And sarcastic. Two wonderful things
Cute cat videos- Again, cats, moving, go google frankenstein cat. Its priceless.
Funny ish- Now this one is a little vague. But if it makes me laugh, if its a quote, a picture, a video, we are okay.
Family pics- This includes "my and my boo". and any form of family together. and #tbt's.
Vacation-  I want to see where you went on vacation since I cant afford a vacation of my own. Also applies for road trips and hikes to the mountains.
Food- I love food. #foodporn right? Does not apply to weird green shakes and kale. I personally dont care much for any diet food really, I want to see the good stuff. But if it makes you feel better about sharing your diet food that is okay.
Transformation pix/stories- Adding this one on. Motivation!!! Do not take that as I want pictures of you constantly at the gym though, no. Nobody should take pictures at the gym. It makes you look like a douche.

Things not to post
Constant political- Keep that to yourself. The only thing I want to see about political is IM VOTING or a I voted little sticker. The President sucks posts are getting old. Please go to an online forum to discuss politics if you must.
Constant religious- I believe in God. Do I need to read 50 posts about religion a day? No. Facebook is not a church. And I'm sure I have friends of all different religions who some may not appreciate constant posts about religion. One here one there alright, but again why not share it with people who would appreciate it more.
Dead animals- Why? Seriously, why do you think it was a good idea to post that?!!! No I'm not gonna watch the pitbull getting beat up video. The "Im spreading awareness through facebook" is lazy. Please go help out at an animal shelter. If I wanted to cry with animal videos I would turn on the tv in the middle of the night and watch the ASPCA commercials.
Abused humans- Again another one I don't understand why you would spread that. I'm pregnant and very sensitive right now, I don't need to see that!!! And honestly most of the time those stories are fake. Oh this also implies the please donate to such and such microsoft will donate....surgery....no. its fake.
The drunk/high pics-  If you don't want your mother to see it don't post it. I don't want to see you more than half naked. Look those pictures will be up forever. Good luck getting a job thats not at McDs. While on the topic, could really care less about your weed, remember while its legal in WA its not federally legal so I'd keep those to text your homies.
My life is so horrible-  Please get off the internet and go make friends. That is your problem.
Pics asking for assurance-  Come on writing "Im so ugly" on a pic should be illegal. If you thought you looked so ugly you wouldnt have posted it. This also refers to those annoying vague posts. Just stop with the annoying "SO mad" "Why?" "I dont want to talk about it" Please delete your facebook.
Pretending a reddit post is yours-  One of the worst offenders. I like reading it on reddit, when you try to pass it off as your own it just ruins it. Didn't you learn in school that plagiarism is illegal? You should all be reported!!!!!

I'd like to think that with these guidelines my newsfeed would be completely cleared of stupid things, but I know better. But hopefully if I can at least reach a few people and change their ways.....
And I know someones going to say why don't you just delete so and so or unsubscribe them. Yeah what if they write something really good one day?!!? I hope nobodys excluded me or theyll be missing out on this epic blog post.
And it had nothing to do with being pregnant....eh

So next time you post something, think about the guidelines. They may save a life.

Why is it called a babyshower?

Charlie had his first baby shower yesterday. It was a great afternoon filled with games, great food, friends and stories.
We're very thankful for everyone who came and spent the day with us. Especially for the greatest hostesses around, Viktoria and Miranda. The decorations were beautiful and the cake was the cutest thing. I think Viktoria might have a future in baking cakes.

The night before the shower Miranda and I went to the brazilian store for some things, and of course to cure my craving of empadas and cheese bread. Somehow in the midst we decided to make coxinhas and empadas for the baby shower. Something we had never done, so I enlisted the help of my mom through Skype. She was watching the Rock in Rio concert and David Guetta and Beyonce were playing that night.
Empadas are like chicken pot pies, and coxinhas are little fried balls with chicken inside of them.
Not knowing what we were up against we set off on an adventure. Making the empada dough was pretty easy, its salt butter and flour. The coxinha dough was a task. You have to cook the dough, constantly adding flour in to it and stirring until it becomes like a pizza dough. Great arm work out!!!
We didnt get done with cooking until late but things turned out good, thankfully.

The next day when leaving VIktorias house for the party, as we were running late already I ended up dismentling the diaper cake...we arrived a little late but all was well and we got down to it on the decorations, well Vik and Tina did haha. I needed food.
After everyone arrived we played a couple of games. One was guess how many candies were in the "jar", jar being a big baby bottle, and the other one which turned into quite a hoot was finish the sentence how you think Giulia would react.
Questions were things like "What would Giulia do if she went to check on Bean and he had pooped himself all over?" and " What book will be CHarlies first book"
Harry Potter obviously!! We even Skyped my mom in Brasil, who was very excited to be included into the baby shower.
We opened presents for Bean and I have to say, hes got some pretty awesome gifts :)

When all gifts were opened it was time for dessert. Mel finally made her wonderful amazing raspberry cobbler and we also had the cake, which I was a little sad to cut into...

Both were delicious!!!!

After a lot of food and sugar it was just time to hang out catch up and relax. By 9 we were all pretty beat and it was time to go home.
We got everything downstairs and I fell onto my bed and asleep.
When Dom got home he went to look through the presents, and he comes into the bedroom wakes me up, holds up the shark robe and says very excitedly "This is the coolest thing I've ever seen!"
Not to be mushy but it had to be the cutest thing I had seen.
He had gone to check out the gifts by himself and had fallen in love with something.
I like this side of him, I know hes gonna be a good dad.
:)

Less than two months!!!