Tuesday, February 4, 2014

JUST a stay at home mom

Today I read a blog post from a husbands point of view about his wife being a stay at home mom.
I decided I'd write one from the perspective of a "stay at home mom/wife"

I am guilty of having thought that being a stay at home mom was an easy job. Like most people I thought "Why is she complaining? She doesn't have to go out and actually work." or "Shes just lazy." While I woke up at all different hours of the night to feed or change a baby the mom in me told my old self "Told you."

Do we not value stay at home moms because they're not actually getting paid? Or because she doesn't get up put on a suit and go out into the world? In many cases having a job outside of the home you are still taking care of someone. Having worked retail and hospitality you are always at someones hand and foot.  The only difference is at the end of the day you hate your job because you're tired and nobody really appreciates what you have done for them. While at home you may be tired but you know those little eyes appreciate everything that you have done for them.

I used to think that going to work for 9 hours was hard, to only have a 30 minute lunch, and get off work so late that you had missed going out with everyone, or getting off work and being so tired all you want is to sleep.
A stay at home mom doesn't have a 30 minute lunch. I swear everytime I try to go eat he wants to eat too. So that nice hot dinner gets put aside while he gets his food.
I once loved showers, long hot showers and I'd just stand under the shower head without a care about how long it was. Now I'm lucky if my showers last 10 minutes.
A Friday night used to be putting on make up, that nice black dress, heels and going out and drinking and having fun.
Friday night now is no different from any other day, bathe baby, feed baby, hope he falls asleep. Clean up some more, and maybe catch up on some tv if you're not passing out already.
The nice thing about a "real" job is that you clock in and clock out. Once you clock out and leave you dont have to do that job until your next shift.
I don't have a clock in clock out button. 

JUST because she's a stay at home mom doesn't mean she's JUST taking care of the baby. She's a cook, a maid, your wife, a nurse, a ninja.
While the baby sleeps she's making dinner, cleaning the house, organizing paperwork, doing some sort of project, and trying to sneak in a little Netflix.

I have a "real" job on the weekends. And I will say, while it's hard to wake up and go to work, the job is a lot easier than being full time mommy.
Am I upset that I'm a stay at home mom? At times I catch myself thinking I need a job I need to make my own money. I've always been a hard worker. But I look at a giggling Charlie and think there is no way that "making my own money" compares to this.
I used to not want to have kids, I was independent, made my own money, could spend my money on anything I wanted.
Now all the money I make or get goes to Charlie. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

While I'm sitting here I have a basket of laundry waiting to be folded. But theres a baby in front of me in his jungle pad giggling looking at himself in the mirror and talking. He also has the hiccups which dont seem to affect him much but I should get those taken care of. (By the way old family trick, lick a piece of paper and put it on their forehead. works. every. time.)

So before you go judging and saying she's JUST a stay at home mom. Think to yourself, your job is 8 hours, hers is 24 hours.

Note: Charlie is very fortunate to have so many people that take care of him. He has a daddy who not only works a "real" job but is always helping out when he can. His grandma who is always willing to watch him if we need to run out and do errands. And great grandparents who love to tell him stories and sing to him and watch him while mommy showers.