JUST a stay at home mom

Today I read a blog post from a husbands point of view about his wife being a stay at home mom.
I decided I'd write one from the perspective of a "stay at home mom/wife"

I am guilty of having thought that being a stay at home mom was an easy job. Like most people I thought "Why is she complaining? She doesn't have to go out and actually work." or "Shes just lazy." While I woke up at all different hours of the night to feed or change a baby the mom in me told my old self "Told you."

Do we not value stay at home moms because they're not actually getting paid? Or because she doesn't get up put on a suit and go out into the world? In many cases having a job outside of the home you are still taking care of someone. Having worked retail and hospitality you are always at someones hand and foot.  The only difference is at the end of the day you hate your job because you're tired and nobody really appreciates what you have done for them. While at home you may be tired but you know those little eyes appreciate everything that you have done for them.

I used to think that going to work for 9 hours was hard, to only have a 30 minute lunch, and get off work so late that you had missed going out with everyone, or getting off work and being so tired all you want is to sleep.
A stay at home mom doesn't have a 30 minute lunch. I swear everytime I try to go eat he wants to eat too. So that nice hot dinner gets put aside while he gets his food.
I once loved showers, long hot showers and I'd just stand under the shower head without a care about how long it was. Now I'm lucky if my showers last 10 minutes.
A Friday night used to be putting on make up, that nice black dress, heels and going out and drinking and having fun.
Friday night now is no different from any other day, bathe baby, feed baby, hope he falls asleep. Clean up some more, and maybe catch up on some tv if you're not passing out already.
The nice thing about a "real" job is that you clock in and clock out. Once you clock out and leave you dont have to do that job until your next shift.
I don't have a clock in clock out button. 

JUST because she's a stay at home mom doesn't mean she's JUST taking care of the baby. She's a cook, a maid, your wife, a nurse, a ninja.
While the baby sleeps she's making dinner, cleaning the house, organizing paperwork, doing some sort of project, and trying to sneak in a little Netflix.

I have a "real" job on the weekends. And I will say, while it's hard to wake up and go to work, the job is a lot easier than being full time mommy.
Am I upset that I'm a stay at home mom? At times I catch myself thinking I need a job I need to make my own money. I've always been a hard worker. But I look at a giggling Charlie and think there is no way that "making my own money" compares to this.
I used to not want to have kids, I was independent, made my own money, could spend my money on anything I wanted.
Now all the money I make or get goes to Charlie. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

While I'm sitting here I have a basket of laundry waiting to be folded. But theres a baby in front of me in his jungle pad giggling looking at himself in the mirror and talking. He also has the hiccups which dont seem to affect him much but I should get those taken care of. (By the way old family trick, lick a piece of paper and put it on their forehead. works. every. time.)

So before you go judging and saying she's JUST a stay at home mom. Think to yourself, your job is 8 hours, hers is 24 hours.














Note: Charlie is very fortunate to have so many people that take care of him. He has a daddy who not only works a "real" job but is always helping out when he can. His grandma who is always willing to watch him if we need to run out and do errands. And great grandparents who love to tell him stories and sing to him and watch him while mommy showers.

When facebook goes wrong.

I woke up this morning and did the first thing anybody does these days, check Facebook.
In the midst of many ecards and TGIFs there was a post with some animal abuse. Thank you jerk for completely taking away any joy I had.
While its your page and you can post whatever you want, I think people are taking things to a new level now days.

Please take my guide of things to post and not to post, lets elaborate:

Cute cats- Thats easy, cats own the internet, there can never be too many cute cats.
Pets- all other form of pets are also acceptable, unless they have no legs or too many legs. (My rule for being okay with animals, 2 legs 4 legs ok, no legs and too many legs no)
Kids- It be babies, toddlers, your kids graduation. It is ok. Unless you're posting birthing videos and pictures then no, please keep those to yourself, locked up, your kid will never want to see that. In fact I dont really know why people take videos of their birth.....not doing it.
E-cards- They're hilarious. And sarcastic. Two wonderful things
Cute cat videos- Again, cats, moving, go google frankenstein cat. Its priceless.
Funny ish- Now this one is a little vague. But if it makes me laugh, if its a quote, a picture, a video, we are okay.
Family pics- This includes "my and my boo". and any form of family together. and #tbt's.
Vacation-  I want to see where you went on vacation since I cant afford a vacation of my own. Also applies for road trips and hikes to the mountains.
Food- I love food. #foodporn right? Does not apply to weird green shakes and kale. I personally dont care much for any diet food really, I want to see the good stuff. But if it makes you feel better about sharing your diet food that is okay.
Transformation pix/stories- Adding this one on. Motivation!!! Do not take that as I want pictures of you constantly at the gym though, no. Nobody should take pictures at the gym. It makes you look like a douche.

Things not to post
Constant political- Keep that to yourself. The only thing I want to see about political is IM VOTING or a I voted little sticker. The President sucks posts are getting old. Please go to an online forum to discuss politics if you must.
Constant religious- I believe in God. Do I need to read 50 posts about religion a day? No. Facebook is not a church. And I'm sure I have friends of all different religions who some may not appreciate constant posts about religion. One here one there alright, but again why not share it with people who would appreciate it more.
Dead animals- Why? Seriously, why do you think it was a good idea to post that?!!! No I'm not gonna watch the pitbull getting beat up video. The "Im spreading awareness through facebook" is lazy. Please go help out at an animal shelter. If I wanted to cry with animal videos I would turn on the tv in the middle of the night and watch the ASPCA commercials.
Abused humans- Again another one I don't understand why you would spread that. I'm pregnant and very sensitive right now, I don't need to see that!!! And honestly most of the time those stories are fake. Oh this also implies the please donate to such and such microsoft will donate....surgery....no. its fake.
The drunk/high pics-  If you don't want your mother to see it don't post it. I don't want to see you more than half naked. Look those pictures will be up forever. Good luck getting a job thats not at McDs. While on the topic, could really care less about your weed, remember while its legal in WA its not federally legal so I'd keep those to text your homies.
My life is so horrible-  Please get off the internet and go make friends. That is your problem.
Pics asking for assurance-  Come on writing "Im so ugly" on a pic should be illegal. If you thought you looked so ugly you wouldnt have posted it. This also refers to those annoying vague posts. Just stop with the annoying "SO mad" "Why?" "I dont want to talk about it" Please delete your facebook.
Pretending a reddit post is yours-  One of the worst offenders. I like reading it on reddit, when you try to pass it off as your own it just ruins it. Didn't you learn in school that plagiarism is illegal? You should all be reported!!!!!

I'd like to think that with these guidelines my newsfeed would be completely cleared of stupid things, but I know better. But hopefully if I can at least reach a few people and change their ways.....
And I know someones going to say why don't you just delete so and so or unsubscribe them. Yeah what if they write something really good one day?!!? I hope nobodys excluded me or theyll be missing out on this epic blog post.
And it had nothing to do with being pregnant....eh

So next time you post something, think about the guidelines. They may save a life.

Why is it called a babyshower?

Charlie had his first baby shower yesterday. It was a great afternoon filled with games, great food, friends and stories.
We're very thankful for everyone who came and spent the day with us. Especially for the greatest hostesses around, Viktoria and Miranda. The decorations were beautiful and the cake was the cutest thing. I think Viktoria might have a future in baking cakes.

The night before the shower Miranda and I went to the brazilian store for some things, and of course to cure my craving of empadas and cheese bread. Somehow in the midst we decided to make coxinhas and empadas for the baby shower. Something we had never done, so I enlisted the help of my mom through Skype. She was watching the Rock in Rio concert and David Guetta and Beyonce were playing that night.
Empadas are like chicken pot pies, and coxinhas are little fried balls with chicken inside of them.
Not knowing what we were up against we set off on an adventure. Making the empada dough was pretty easy, its salt butter and flour. The coxinha dough was a task. You have to cook the dough, constantly adding flour in to it and stirring until it becomes like a pizza dough. Great arm work out!!!
We didnt get done with cooking until late but things turned out good, thankfully.

The next day when leaving VIktorias house for the party, as we were running late already I ended up dismentling the diaper cake...we arrived a little late but all was well and we got down to it on the decorations, well Vik and Tina did haha. I needed food.
After everyone arrived we played a couple of games. One was guess how many candies were in the "jar", jar being a big baby bottle, and the other one which turned into quite a hoot was finish the sentence how you think Giulia would react.
Questions were things like "What would Giulia do if she went to check on Bean and he had pooped himself all over?" and " What book will be CHarlies first book"
Harry Potter obviously!! We even Skyped my mom in Brasil, who was very excited to be included into the baby shower.
We opened presents for Bean and I have to say, hes got some pretty awesome gifts :)

When all gifts were opened it was time for dessert. Mel finally made her wonderful amazing raspberry cobbler and we also had the cake, which I was a little sad to cut into...

Both were delicious!!!!

After a lot of food and sugar it was just time to hang out catch up and relax. By 9 we were all pretty beat and it was time to go home.
We got everything downstairs and I fell onto my bed and asleep.
When Dom got home he went to look through the presents, and he comes into the bedroom wakes me up, holds up the shark robe and says very excitedly "This is the coolest thing I've ever seen!"
Not to be mushy but it had to be the cutest thing I had seen.
He had gone to check out the gifts by himself and had fallen in love with something.
I like this side of him, I know hes gonna be a good dad.
:)

Less than two months!!!

Quinoa spinach brown rice grain of wonder

I always see people posting pictures of their healthy meals online.
My thoughts are always the same.
Nope, not eating that!!!

As wonderful as that may be for my body. It was probably way out of my budget and the way I see if once I'm old and frail all that I will be eating will be liquified or pureed, so might as well enjoy my teeth and eating what I want.

I understand that while pregnant your diet has to be a very healthy one. But its insane the amount of things you can't eat while pregnant.
*Hot dogs and deli meats (Have to be cooked thoroughly)
*Larger fish (swordfish, shark...) (Also I would never eat a poor defenseless shark)
*Sprouts (Bean sprouts count??)
*Unpasteurized juices (Seriously?)
*Excess caffeine (Meh)
*Herbal tea and supplements (But I like tea!)
*Soft cheeses (Why fetaaaaaa?)
*Raw or undercooked meats and fish (Sushi Land, Nijos...Ill miss you guys)

 Honestly though, you'd rather me go and buy some fake juice instead of a nice fresh squeezed orange juice? Sometimes it doesn't make sense. Also I may or may not be following that very thoroughly...
I still wonder how they come up with all of these do not do while pregnant things.
I know for a fact my mom smoked probably a pack a day while pregnant with me and drank gallons of espresso. I think, and correct me if I'm wrong but I think I came out alright.

I really dislike warm sandwiches, so the first few times going to Subway I had to get my meat heated up...I thought it would be more of a Quizno's hot sandwich and it was nowhere near that....The ham was lukewarm...I dont think that made much of a difference on whether I got listeria or not so I have decided not to heat it anymore. Not that I get Subway very often, I tend to somehow always get sick from different stores...
I have a very sensitive stomach okay?!

I've unfortunately become lactose intolerant with this pregnancy. Not that I was ever much of a milk drinker..but really its summer and I like milkshakes!!
So its been coconut/almond milk for pregnita. I went to get froyo yesterday with my friend and sat there trying out all of the froyos...ooops.
I'm really hoping that this goes away after pregnancy.

I cant live off of fruit and vegetables, I have to dip my toes into some sort of bad food right? I have the right to!! I have been sick for the past 4 months I think I deserve some good fun. While I've never been someone who likes sweets I have found myself with quite the sweet tooth I can't get rid of.
So when I felt that need of sweet goodness after dinner the other day everyone seemed happy that Bean wanted something sweet. We trekked to Whole Foods where they sell pie slices so everyone was able to pick their own. Grandma got a very nice lemon meringue, Grandpa and Carol both got decadent chocolate cream pies, Dom got a very nice Kahlua creme (what an alcoholic) and I came back with a Hazelnut Fudge cake...I didnt just eat it, I devoured it.

Dom's had a few cravings himself. Blue Cheese. Which to me not only smells like feet but also tastes like what his feet would taste like.
Speaking of feet, our last ultrasound we got to see that Bean might become a gymnast. He had his feet up to his face and Im quite sure he was sucking on them.
I wonder if I can find my picture of me doing that, I used to do it all the time when I was young.

Lastly a great thing about pregnancy is all the heartburn. If I had any doubt before whether he'd be hairy I don't now. Say it is a old wives tale? I think it's quite true. Please don't let my baby come out a werewolf. But if anyone has a good cure for heartburn please, share.

Oh and one last update, I'd like to thank my girl Liz for helping me with a job. I will be working with the "oldies" as an activity coordinator. I may even create a new activity once Bean's born. "Take care of baby time". Old people love babies. That's a fact.

What's in a name?

Naming a kid is different than naming say a pet or a doll.
That individual will have that name to be with for the rest of his life.
Through kindergarten where they may make fun of them for their name, through elementary school where they will try to find their own nickname, in high school when they may want to take more of an adult style nickname or use their real name and in college where that name will be used in a piece of paper that will determine their career path.

I have chosen the name Charles Robert Kramer.

Baby Charles will have many nicknames to chose from. Charlie, Chuck, Chuckie, if he wants to use his middle name then, Rob, Robbie, Bobby, Bob....

I chose Charles because it is a name that's not very common. It's a timeless name. I believe that a name gives you personality. If you have a strong name you are bound to become something powerful.
Also I don't want my kid to be racially profiled when he's older and trying to apply for a job. There are many names that may get stereotyped. As wrong as it is, it happens, and no I don't agree with it.

The middle name Robert is from Dominic's Grandfather. We agreed that if I chose the first name he could have the middle name. I think its a great middle name and both first and middle name mesh very well.

It doesn't bother me if you don't like it. You're not the one raising my kid. I was going to keep it hush hush to keep the bad juju off of him but why should I? I'm proud and happy of the name I chose.

Charles means free man, it is the name of the first Holy Roman Emperor and a name which many royal families use. There have been many intelligent individuals in history with the name Charles. Charles Dickens, Charles Darwin, Charlie Chaplin...Chuck Bass...

While you may ask why I didn't pick anything from my own family's past I will say I didn't have many choices. I did like the name William who was also my step grandfather it is also the name of my sisters adorable fluffy cat. I couldn't let him live thinking I named him after my sisters cat. (Even though Will is the most amazing cat I've ever met, besides Leo obviously.)
In a conversation with my sisters mom she kept throwing out names and I kept deflecting them with the fact that well they've all been used on one pet in the family. Leo's name is retired, may he rest in kitty heaven. Jackson is also longer name for Jack....She said I used all the good names on my animals.

Then there's the fact that well...my family's from Brasil. My mom's side of the family was from a small little town and you know how those names work out. My grandpas name was Geneval and what a great man he was from stories I've heard. But say that out loud, what does it sound like?? ......Yeah not going to work out. And even though I have rekindled a relationship with my own father I don't think that I will carry on his names to my own child. I think the many years I gave him the first piece of cake on my birthdays should be plenty.

Even though Kramer isn't the best last name  (Seinfeld anyone??) I wont subject my kid to having a hyphenated last name to include both my name and Dominic's. We aren't married (yet....) but I think 5 years with someone is enough to pass on his name to our offpsring.

But who knows? Maybe he won't like his name and will think its horrible and will change it after turning 18. At least he'll have it for 18 years of his life. As long as he doesn't change it to something weird like Meta World Peace  it's up to him. But to me, he will always be Bean.

Welcome Home!

As a few of you have experienced our surprise already it is now safe to say we are back in the Northwest.
No more cockroaches, no more humidity, no more Texas!

My last day at work Ms.Flor my mother figure at work bought two delicious cakes to celebrate my going away. Veronica my wine expert bought Bean his first outfit. That was when it became real that 1)We were going home and 2)Oh I'm having a baby!
Dom's front office team threw us a baby shower, unfortunately I had already left work so he had to step in for momma duty. Bean got so many cool presents I'm excited for him!!!

7 States in 3 days with 2 cats and 1 dog. We left Sunday morning and drove all the way to Albuquerque, NM. 12 and a half hours of driving but we were out of Texas. We hit a horrible thunderstorm in New Mexico our windshield wipers couldn't keep up with the amount of rain, it was bucket fulls. Of course there was no way to pull over because what if there was a flash flood?? We stayed the night at a Motel 6. They're not terrible, but if I ever hear someone compare the Hyatt to a Motel 6 again I might kick that individual.
The second day we drove to Twin Falls, ID.  We drove through all of Utah and some Colorado. I must say out of all of the states we went through Utah was the most beautiful. That second day was another 12 and a half hours drive. Lots of fast food on the way.
On our last day we drove all the way through Washington and Oregon. It was the best feeling getting into Washington, I had missed the nature and trees and beauty.

 

The start

 

My favorite picture of Jack

 

Tigger found a comfortable spot

 

Utah

 

My chauffeur 

 

Twin falls
 

Bored on the last day

 

Are those trees?!

We dropped off the cats at my friends mom's house, who loves cats and says its been a great thing having them around. My sister and I contemplated giving her a cat once we get a place and have to take mine back...I think it might happen ;)

We are staying with Dominic's grandparents until we find a place. Kobe is in love with the new found freedom of a ginormous backyard. And he has a new roomie, Piper. His grandparents little westie. We're still getting acclimated as Kobe likes to use his paws a lot and pipey is a smaller dog.



Like every year for the past 5 years the tradition is to go over to Kingston and go to Bobby's cabin. We surprised everyone when we showed up and they were walking the boat to the dock and we started honking. I thought there were going to be tears....The shock and confusion on everyone's face was priceless. It was great to be reunited with friends! The boys set out crab pots that day and we caught a ton of crabs. Tina and Emily were really excited to crack crabs and the boys had no problem with that haha.

 

 

So now were back to real life. Dom will be working at the Edgewater as an Assistant Front Office Manager and I'm waiting to hear back from the Hyatt.

I need to find a new OBGYN or a Midwife now. If anyone knows of a place they liked I'd love to hear about it.

A napkin and ice

To most it is just a cloth napkin, ice and some paper towels.
To me, it meant the world.

I'm 18 weeks tomorrow and still the morning sickness has not left me. The past two weeks have been especially hard at work as one of the managers has been out because of surgery. I've been opening the restaurant every day at 5am. On my Saturday I was extremely sick. I did my opening duties and went into the office to work on the rotation sheet. I couldn't keep anything down and the trash can and I became best friends. At one point one of my servers came in the back with a bowl of ice a napkin and some paper towels. He said "Here you go momma I know you get hot and it makes you feel sick." (The back office has a no form of ventilation, we have a fan but it basically blows hot air in your face). I looked back at him and had no words to explain how much I appreciated his gesture.

I'm not someone who likes to ask for help. It's hard for me to do that, I feel weak, and I know asking for help isn't weak its quite the opposite of that, it takes strength to ask for help. While pregnant I've encountered a lot of ignorance from people, people who see pregnancy as a disease, people who think you can't do anything because you're pregnant, the list is ridiculously long. So showing one sign of being under the weather has really been something I'm trying not to show.

Many of the people at work have had kids (none of the managers). One of my server's assistants had 8 of them!! They understand that some of their pregnancies might have been easy, but mine wasn't a trip to Disneyland. As a Supervisor I am the person always checking on them making sure they're okay and not overwhelmed, but they became that to me also. "How are you feeling?" "Hows the baby" "Its definitely a boy". That connection made me the person that they went to if they had an issue. One day I had taxi issues and didn't get to work until about 5:40, I was crying and freaking out about what was going to happen. When I got in, they had already done their side work, opened the silverware cage, opened the office and everything was set. They could have came up with excuses, slacked off, or only done their job but they chose to go above and beyond and help me out.

Compassion isn't something that you teach someone, it comes from within. I can "coach" my associates how to properly serve a table, how to clear a table, to carry trays correctly. But I can't teach them compassion, that is all on their own. If I've learned anything from this experience its that you get what you put out into the world. I could have gone into this job and quit after finding out I was pregnant, I could have gone to work done my job and went home every day. I chose to stay, to build relationships and have a connection with them.

These 5 months of work haven't been easy. I'm not someone who boasts and throws things in other people's faces. But if you think that you can make it working at 5am every day with a full buffet (eggs, cant ever eat them again). While "feeling hungover" and smelling every European's cologne/perfume within a mile of them. I give you my most respect.
 But the days where nobody will get a break and I get them some pizza from room service and I walk into the room to see everyone sitting next to each other on the bench and smiling and thanking me, it makes it all worth it.

I just want people to know that being pregnant or not, the smallest things you do to someone else can change the world to that person. Have you ever had a day where you wish someone would have just given you a smile? Too often we are so caught up in our own problems and issues that we don't take the time to reach out to others. The thing is, nobody knows what someone else is going through. As a society we've learned to hold our pain inside. Many people walk around with a smile on their face to hide their pain. If someone were to reach out and help another with their pain they may realize that they're helping themselves as well.

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
—Leo Buscaglia


I promise you, as silly as a napkin and some ice sounds, I will never forget that.